Damn These Farts!

It is quite normal to fart. I mean if you don’t do it you are probably risking some sickness and discomfort. Fart away and be comfortable.

There are many types of farts. The loud ones, the silent killers, those that are silent but are let out in portions so you don’t end up being a Hiroshima bomb and kill everyone around you.

Farts are quite hilarious. If you are in a public place, say an office, it is quite embarrassing to let one go. I mean it’s uncouth, to say the least. You’d make everyone uncomfortable. But then again, you can’t hold it and take it outside. It will disappear. So the only option is to just hold it in and let it get consumed in your body, back where it came from.

 

Farts — also called flatus (say: FLAY-tuss) or intestinal (say: in-TESS-tuh-null) gas — are made of, well, gas! … All of these gases in the digestive system have to escape somehow, so they come out as farts!

I used to work at this company, Valton (not real name) and my boss gave me hell. She was impossible. Nothing ever made her happy. She complained from here to Timbuktu. I thought she was too stern on me because she was helping me grow but…eish…I felt she was just a boss from hell.

This one time she comes to the office looking stunning.  I hated her but I have to give credit where it’s due. She really had quite the sense of style. I have no idea what she had fed on the night before because this day, in particular, she kept excusing herself a lot to go to the washroom. I could sense the discomfort she was experiencing.

At the back of my head, these thoughts kept crossing and reiterating …” you getting what you deserve for giving me hell all this while” but anyway I still sympathized with her. I’m no animal. Maybe just a little bit.

Moving on…so we were just sitting at our desks going on with our daily routines, in the ever so quiet office, then all over sudden we hear this loud growl. It almost sounded like a wild animal had been let lose in the office. Yes, it’s just like you thought. It was my boss’ tummy.

The embarrassment that filled her face… There were faces that turned back to see what in God’s green earth that noise was, as it was coming from our direction. I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. She was unwell. I don’t know whether it was out of embarrassment or the sickness just took a toll on her, because the next thing I knew she was logging out getting ready to leave.

She held her fart and it embarrassed her.  Long story short, don’t hold in those farts. if it wants out trust me, it will find a way out. Let them lose my friends. Set them free. Be healthy. You owe yourself that much.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Strong Girl says:

    Hahahahaha this is the funniest thing ive read this year

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wambui chege says:

      ahahahaha, thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Farts are good… Food for the soul. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s true…never hold it…let it go fam….let it go :’D

      Like

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